


More Acting Shenanigans Ensue

by Kenmai



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, JohnKarkat, Other, acting stuff, acting/drama au, johnkat - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-24
Updated: 2015-07-24
Packaged: 2018-04-11 01:25:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4415702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kenmai/pseuds/Kenmai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I play a police officer and at one point I get to arrest and drag your character offstage and I’m having a little too much fun with it" AU (Johnkat thing!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	More Acting Shenanigans Ensue

**Author's Note:**

> Really short thing i wrote in my sleep depriven state. Lots of song puns. If you know them all I will love you forever.

“Look, pal. Buddy o’ mine. You gotta do this for me please?” Jake whispered to John as the boy shook his head. John was currently in a restaurant setting acting with his cousin as a drug dealer; Jones, who owns this shop and Jake; Pete, who is a customer that he deals too. Pete owes him money for drugs and decides that he does not want to sell them to him anymore until he pays. Jones on the other hand, is also re-considering not selling drugs at all anymore and focusing on his business here at the restaurant. It’s dark out when Pete decides to come in the restaurant whilst he’s near closing up. Only about five customers remain eating their meals and talking. Pete begs him to give him the drugs and starts to attract the attention of the customers, thus causing one of them to quietly call the police. The scene continues to unfold from there.

“I said no Pete how m any times do I have to tell you this, huh?” John calmly said as he turned to polish a plate.

“Jones please. I need this. I-I can’t go without em this long I-it’s like my life here!” He said voice getting frantically louder. This made John quickly turn to look at him, checking to see if his customers were watching. Thus satisfied with the setting John walked closer to the counter and put his plate down.

“I said. No.” He harshly whispered leaning closer to him. “I told you. Give me my money and you get your stuff.”

Jake tsked. “I have no more money because of you and you know this.”

“Least, I’m not the one who’s addicted.” John said blowing on another plate and using a small cloth to polish it. He carefully inspected both sides before putting it down.

“Now listen here you piece of-“

“Besides.” John harshly interrupted. “I’m uh, thinkin’ of stopping that whole business you know? I don’t wanna get caught because of you and stupidly go to Jake or somethin’. The getting is good and its better here at the restaurant…”

Jake looked at him incredulously and took a long deep sigh before slamming his fists on the table and scaring the customers. The plate that resided on the table bounced from the force and fell off the counter, breaking with a crash. “GIVE THEM TO ME.”

John panicked as he saw this and quickly yelled, “SIR, I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT. I’D LIKE TO KINDLY ASK YOU TO LEAVE THIS ESTABLISHMENT OR A SECURITY WILL BE CALLED TO DISPOSE OF YOU. NOW GET OUT.”

“Fuck you!” Jake said flipping him the bird with both fingers. “Fuck your establishment! Fuck your goods! Fuck you for pussying out on a great chance!” With that he turned and started to make his way to the door storming out, but he was stopped as the police busted in. There were three of them looking around wildly before they grabbed hold of Jake and started to make their way towards John. By this time people were screaming and panicking, trying to hastily exit the restaurant.

“Theresa!” A shorter officer shouted as he turned to look at the police woman next to his right. “Handcuff this fool and take him to the car.”

“Got it, boss!” Terezi said pretending to roughly handcuff Jake and jerked him towards the ‘car’ offstage with a cackling laugh.

“Saul!” The officer said nodding to his next partner. “Calm these fucking people down and get them to exit the building in a collected manner. Lives can be at stake here and we don’t want anything to go wrong.”

“Got it!” Sollux said making his way towards the actors and trying to get them to calm down and lead them out of the building.

“I’ll take care of this one.” The cop said making his way over to John. John by this time had faked panic and shock from the moment the officers arrived. He had the role of Jones down to a T and was already trying to make a hasty escape. The cop, a fellow acting acquaintance of his however, was already tackling John to the ground and putting handcuffs on him.

“Freeze scum!” Karkat yelled. “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say and do can and will be held again against you in the court of law. You have the right to seek an attorney. That’s an utter pile of shit though.”

John thrashed and tried to kick the officer off but it was useless. Karkat grabbed a hold of John’s wrist and started to drag him offstage.

Their scene was over so now Karkat could finally relax and maybe have some fun.

“Sir, stop thrashing in the name of love!”

John stilled and looked up to Karkat with a choked grin. “I’m sorry what.”

“I’m taking you back to the slammer! As In I’m gonna slam you in my bed.”

“Karkat no.”

“Karkat yes.”

John started to laugh.

“Better yet we could Space Jam.”

“Please stop.”

“Wait a minute?”

“Should I fill your cup and put some liquor in it?”

“No thanks. I, I’ve got a migraine.”

“Does your pain range from up, down to sideways?”

“Not at all. You can see it since I’m standing in front of you.”

“I can’t, I’m holding onto you.”

“But it’s better if you do John.”

“Maybe if I could stand up, and possibly sing hallelujah.”

“BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP.” Sollux said as he made his way offstage. “Your mics weren’t turned off and the whole audience can hear you!”

John and Karkat burst into laughter as Karkat fell to the ground.

“Your puns were shitty.” Terezi joined in.

“Very.” Jake agreed.

“Shitty? If you don’t like it then get out. Haven’t you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door? No?”

“Stop.” Sollux begged.

“Look with your special eyes.”

“My brand! Terezi are you seeing this?!” Jake said as he grabbed her shoulders.

Terezi gasped. “And at last I see the light!”

“And it’s like the sky has lifted!” John sang.

“SHUT. STOP RIGHT NOW. ALL OF YOU GTFO.” Sollux yelled.


End file.
